Okay, it’s January 3, 2010, and I’m still on holidays so I guess I’m making the Christmas letter deadline just under the wire. I always find the build-up to Christmas so darn busy that it’s hard to find time for the kind of reflection that this kind of project requires. Plus, it took until Dec 24 for us to have all three kids together in one place during daylight hours long enough to snap a nice portrait of them. And, I have to fight them for computer time now that they have memberships to their favourite websites.
But most of all, 2009 just wasn’t the kind of year that we want to spend a lot of time reflecting upon or celebrating, unless we’re celebrating that we survived it and reflecting on the fact that we have the love of family and friends to sustain us. They say that health and wealth are two of the cornerstones of contentment, and we were tested on both fronts this year.
We started the year with a nice snowfall, but a rapid warming trend after that saw flooding in Chilliwack, including in our neighbourhood. While our neighbours experienced actual flooding, our new house is high enough up that we were able to escape with some seepage. Our good friends the Gadsby-Haners rushed over to help us move furniture upstairs in a hurry in case it did flood, and we called upon the generosity of our East Chilliwack friends to collect seven shop vacs within a couple of hours, which we set up at various spots downstairs and kept going all night long, moving from one to another to empty them in a sort of zombie assembly line. Not much sleep for us that night. But now that our house has got through the worst flood the farmer up the year has seen in 50 years with just a little seepage, we’re feeling pretty good about its ability to withstand the elements.
Then there was this little problem called an economic downturn. Like many people in B.C., Daryl’s business depends on a healthy real estate market, and like many, we suffered when the economy took a huge dive in late 2008. We’d regularly see reports of condo developments that were clients of his going under, and the newspaper advertising promoting these developments that is the bulk of his business really dropped off.
Just as we were watching the news on January 10 about the flooding in Chilliwack, the other big story was the financial problems with the Olympic Village, and the City of Vancouver having to bail out the developer. Given that this was one of his biggest clients, that was a pretty depressing newscast. Oh, and during the newscast and ambulance came and took our elderly neighbour away with heart problems as he was so stressed about the flood.
The good news on this front is that things did pick up a bit during the second half of the year, he was eventually paid by most of this clients, and other clients and projects did emerge to help keep us afloat. But we did have to severely curtail our spending after a few years of relative prosperity, and learned new skills such as negotiating with Canada Revenue Service.
But in some ways it was nice to dial it back, stay home, and cocoon. We had each other, our pets, the Wii, books, DVD movies, and the ever-present computer to amuse us.
As always, our family kept very busy with school, work, and sports, so busy that our time together as a whole family was brief, except for the dinner hour, which we try to have together regularly. June is an especially hectic month. With four of us in spring soccer, we had seven soccer games a week going for a while, along with field trips, UFV convocation-related activity, and two kids’ birthdays.
So it took a day spent together in Vancouver on June 14 as a family to really notice that something was not quite right with Molly, who turned 14 in April. We spent Emma’s 11th birthday at the beach, strolling Commercial Drive during a festival, and going for dinner, and noticed that Molly needed to use the washroom with extreme frequency.
I figured it was a simple bladder infection and took her to our doctor. She had Molly do a urine test and then ordered a blood test, as she was concerned about Molly’s high sugar levels. We didn’t hurry to the blood test as it didn’t seem urgent (I guess I was in denial that it could really be something serious).
I took the other kids on a camping trip with several mums and 17 kids to Rathtrevor (lots of fun!), and then stayed on the Island on business for a couple of days, so it was July 3 before we got the blood test done, and July 9 before we visited our doctor for the results: Type 1 Diabetes.
Here’s some advice: If you’re taking your child for what could be calamitous medical news, don’t arrange to meet your husband in Starbucks right after. I was quietly crying into my coffee that morning.
We found out on a Thursday and were told that we’d have to take her to Children’s Hospital for three days, but our local doctor gave us the green light to take our trip to Long Beach on Vancouver Island first, as Molly’s blood sugar levels weren’t dangerously high yet (we caught it early).
So that’s how we found ourselves on a beach, cooking hot dogs on the fire, looking out at whales cavorting in the water, when the endocrinologist called, saying “We need to see Molly right away.”
Once we explained that we were in Tofino, dude, like, watching the whales, you know, he reluctantly let us stay, as long as Molly had a very low carb diet that week, andtook it really easy. He also said to rush her to Port Alberni Hospital if anything went wrong. “Please take good care of Maahhlly,” he urged us in his American accent.
So we had an uneasy yet relaxing few days on the beach, cooking lots of bacon and eggs and other high protein foods for Molly, watching whales from the beach (in more abundance than we’d ever seen them there) and trying to enjoy our usual beach hikes, campfires, and ocean swims (well, I was the only one crazy enough to actually swim much in the cold water).
Then on Monday morning, the other kids farmed out, we reported to Children’s Hospital where the extremely kind and competent doctors, nurses, and dieticians (and a life-sized cut-out of fellow diabetic Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers) helped Molly start her new life, which includes 14 tasks a day for a 14-year-old to deal with and us to bug her about: six carefully planned and timed meals or snacks, four finger-pricking blood sugar tests, and four shots of insulin. It also includes serious things to consider such as avoiding blood sugar ‘lows’, which can be harmful now, and ‘highs’, which can lead to long-term severe health consequences, and deciding appropriate levels of insulin to take. Way more serious stuff than a teenager should have to be worried about. Not as bad as some other things that can happen to you, but not good either.
To say this has added stress to our lives would be an extreme understatement, but we are all coping. Despite the fact that sometimes we have to nag her, and that we all hate the fact that she now has this lifelong condition for which there is treatment but no cure, Molly has showed extreme maturity in dealing with this blow. Her life isn’t as carefree as it should be any more, but she still gets to do all of her former activities.
And unlike Type 2 Diabetes, she can’t prevent or cure it through diet and exercise alone. She will need insulin for the rest of her life unless a cure is found. Essentially, her pancreas has ceased to function properly on its own due to an autoimmune disorder.
Daryl and I often catch ourselves feeling that we’ve done this before, having endured the pain and hardship and fear of having a child with a serious medical condition when Miles went through his multiple emergency hospitalizations for asthma as a toddler. It’s like: hey, we passed that test, endured that trial, why do we have to go through it again, and this time for a condition that’s not going to get better, and will trouble us all (especially Molly) for the rest of our lives? But something that you learn as you get older is that life is just not fair. We led a charmed one for a long time, but that doesn’t mean we had a free pass to trouble-free times forever.
And as much as I can say this has been hard on her parents and siblings, Molly often wisely and correctly reminds us that it’s even harder on her.
And as the months have gone by she has proved herself generally very competent at handling her condition, so much so that we are, with some trepidation, allowing her to travel to Europe on a 10-day school field trip without us this March.
Oh, and did I mention the emergency quadruple bypass my dad had in May? That was intense and scary. It was difficult to visit him so frail and dependent on medical technology and expertise in the hospital after he was the doctor for so long , but he has come out of hit very well and we are delighted to still be enjoying his company. He’s back to walking the dog two times a day, mowing the lawn, and enjoying some travel with Mum.
Within this bummer of a year where the bad news seemed to just keep coming, there was also routine, and fun, and regular accomplishments.
I kept working at UFV, in fact returned to fulltime employment (had been 80 percent) thanks to the benevolence of my employer. That helped on the financial front, but made juggling all those kids’ activities even more difficult. I’m often tearing home just in time to turn around and drive them to something, but we find that sports are very good for them, and just because a boy is the third child and you’re tired of carting them to swimming lessons, that doesn’t mean that a boy doesn’t need to learn how to swim! (And once I get in the pool and do my lengths while he’s in lessons, it feels pretty good to me too!) I continue to enjoy my work and have especially liked working on the history of UFV project, interviewing veteran and retired faculty and staff. I also played women’s soccer again in the spring, with a bunch of mostly over-40 ladies who love leaving our troubles behind and hitting the turf for some kicks. That, combined with badminton, cycling, the gym and now Wii fit, keeps me active (not to mention dog walks -- that’s a bit of foreshadowing).
Daryl kept plugging away at his work, going to the gym, and enjoying his newfound enthusiasm for watching hockey. This fall, his midlife crisis took the form of playing ball hockey in a league. So twice a week, he goes out and chases younger men around the gym, stick in hand. He also bought hiking gear with hopes of doing some overnight trips, but only managed a few day trips as our summer turned out to be so busy. He also seeded and planted a very nice front yard for us. No more meadow. And he’s working on a “dry river” concept for the area leading to the front steps.
Emma got to play school sports for the first time this year, so she added volleyball and basketball to her repertoire as well as soccer. (She also got a bonus unexpected trip to summer camp when Molly had to go to the hospital.) She is growing up, on the cusp of early teenager, and wishes she could fit the clothes at American Eagle, but is still stuck buying her jeans in girl sizes for awhile longer. She keeps busy with sports, playing with friends, and being a fashion maven on the Stardoll website. She’s also serving as an apprentice babysitter, helping Molly on some of her assignments, and she enjoys that very much. She gives us very little trouble, as always, and her weak spot is allowing herself to be bothered by her very bothersome (to her) brother Miles. She’s doing very well in grade six, and will be off to middle school (and uniforms) at Rosedale Middle next year.
Miles is now 6 and in grade one, and the world is one big collection of words waiting to be deciphered. He’s reading menus, signs, packages, newspaper headlines, and of course, books with us in the evenings. He’s also quite good with numbers. He enjoyed playing soccer again this fall on a team with a lot of his buddies from school, and is finally getting the knack of swimming, after several sets of lessons. But most of all he loves his screens – computer (he’s gone from Club Penguin to Moshi Monsters website), Wii (loves his Super Mario), and now his Nintendo DS handheld gameplayer. We have to force, cajole, or bargain him off screen time regularly, and he and Emma are both rationed on the computer with the oven timer. (“20 minutes and then go do something that doesn’t involve a screen.”)
Molly, although her tendency to dawdle can drive us crazy -- especially when getting ready for the bus in the mornings, continues to impress us with her excellent grades in every subject and her ability to juggle school, sports, friends, and Facebook. Her favourite sport is soccer, and her team won the Coastal Cup this spring (best in the Lower Mainland at the silver level). She also plays basketball and volleyball. She is a much-beloved babysitter and is very good with young kids. The fact that she continues to do so well despite the huge extra burden she’s been handed is impressive beyond words.
The four cats continue to eat, sleep, doze, play, and purr. George is 15 and when we brought home a dog bed for the floor (more foreshadowing!) he thought that was great, flopped himself on it, and rarely leaves it for the heights of the couch or the bed anymore.
So that leaves the newest family member: Gomez! I’ll agree that it’s totally illogical for a busy family without a fenced yard should get a dog, but this wasn’t a logical decision. He came to us at a time when we were feeling great sadness as a family, and we (I) decided that we needed something joyous and positive in our lives to counterbalance the heavy blow that Molly’s diagnosis dealt us. In other words, we needed something happy to happen. So a puppy it was! (Paid for through a combo of my bottle-return savings and the kids' allowances.) He’s three-quarters golden retriever, one-quarter muensterlander (German hunting dog), and although he comes with considerable hassles, he has indeed brought joy into our lives. He accompanies us to many soccer games,gets walks from me on the weekends, and even his reluctant master Daryl has come around and is sneaking him out for some forest excursions on weekday mornings.
My friend noted that we’re 10 years into the new millennium in her year-end letter, and I think that’s a noteworthy fact. Ten years ago we had two little girls, four cats, and one dog in a tiny house clinging to the edge of a river in a big yard. Now we have – hey, what do you know – three kids: two big girls and a little boy. The house has now morphed into a modern big structure able to house us all comfortably, now higher up and in the middle of the big yard. Still have four cats and a dog, but the dog and two of the cats are different.
We have just enjoyed a lengthy Christmas break with family and friends. My favourite part of Christmas is the days after the preparations and festivities are over when I can enjoy time with very little on the agenda (although, ever the striver, I aim to read the papers and clean the house and go on a walk and play with the kids and watch a movie and do a puzzle and do Wii fit and read my book, and never accomplish it all).
So although overall we’ve dealt with some tough stuff this year, there has still been joy, and love, and laughter, and friendship, and for that we are grateful. Here’s to 2010!
To see family and pet photos from 2009 go here:
http://
www.flickr.com/photos/rosedaleannie/sets/72157623104875864/For my favourite scenic shots from 2009 go here:
http://
www.flickr.com/photos/rosedaleannie/sets/72157622986074399/All the best to everyone, everywhere.
Anne, Daryl, Molly, Emma, Miles
(and George, Sophie, Moby, Neko, and of course Gomez).
